Forgive God

“Believe it or not, we need to forgive God,” the writer asserted. “When bad things happen, like illness or death or other setbacks, we may become angry with God or blame Him for the perceived injustices. Therefore, we need to forgive Him.”

Initially, I rolled my eyes at this and dismissed it as another attempt to tickle ears and gain attention. After more meditation, it seems there might be more going on here than mere wordplay.

Who is God, and what is He like? These should be our first questions. If we don't get these two questions right, we will seriously struggle with the rest of Scripture.

For most people, the first adjective used to describe God would be love. Then it would be mercy, long-suffering, patient, omnipresent, and omniscient. These are certainly accurate, but if we see God through only these adjectives, it will be difficult to understand some of the deep injustices in our world.

Why would a loving, all-powerful God allow bad things to happen? If God hates wickedness, why does He allow evil men to do wicked things to innocent children? If God is all-knowing, why would He allow circumstances that cause teenagers to walk away from Him? If God loves intimate relationships in marriage, why did He create men with desires that so easily destroy that relationship? If two-parent homes are so important to a functioning family, why would He not keep parents in a young family from dying? Why do wars rage in so many parts of the globe when the most severe pain caused by the conflict goes to the women, children, and elderly?

These are legitimate questions that most of us will wrestle with at some point. The conclusions we reach will be determined by our view of God and by what we believe is the reason for our existence.

While we may not completely understand why God created us, He is abundantly clear about how He wants us to live and about how He gave us free will, allowing us to choose whether we want to obey His clear expectation. If we think about the Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, and so on), it begs the question: Would these virtues have any meaning in an ideal world? Does this mean God designs adverse situations so that we can shine as a beacon on a hill? I don't think so.

My own views about adverse situations have needed to be readjusted since reading Why Bad Things Happen by Michael S. Martin. I will not try to condense any of his thoughts here, but I will say that it is a good read for anyone who struggles with understanding why our daily experiences aren't cake and ice cream.

What does it mean to forgive? According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, it means to “cease feeling resentment against” an offender. In order to extend forgiveness, there first needs to be an offense. According to the previously mentioned writer, even though God has never done anything wrong, we need to forgive Him not for God's benefit but for our own.

Feeling that God has let us down or is to be blamed for allowing adverse situations is a fairly common feeling. If we have such feelings toward someone else, forgiveness certainly is required. Are such feelings toward God actually in the same category as our feelings toward other men?

If God is our Creator with supreme authority over the universe, and if He created us for the sole purpose of glorifying Himself, how could it be true that we need to forgive Him? Blaming God for adverse situations or resenting the uncomfortable circumstances we may find ourselves in is a form of rebellion. Saying we need to forgive God is trying to pull Him down to our level.

I suggest that repentance is a word that should enter into this discussion. What is the difference between repenting of ill feelings and forgiving a person we hold ill feelings toward? There is a night and day difference. Again, from Merriam-Webster, “to feel sorrow for a wrong action and determine to do what is right.”

It seems repentance is in order if we blame someone for something they didn't do. Forgiveness is what needs to be extended to someone who has hurt us in some way. To put it another way, we could say, “I must repent when I am wrong and forgive when the other person is wrong.”

My father was having thyroid issues in 2009 and finally had his thyroid removed. The doctors found one cancerous cell in the removed mass, so Dad needed to take some cancer treatments. In late 2010, his doctor wanted a scan to confirm there was no remaining cancer. By early 2011, Dad’s health began to decline dramatically. With a long family history of heart problems, we were concerned with the way his body was bloating.

In March of that year, he went to his doctor for a check-up, but the doctor claimed there was nothing wrong. Mom raised the issue of a family history of heart trouble, but the doctor was convinced Dad’s heart was fine. Dad was convinced it had something to do with the body scan he had taken, but the doctor refuted that notion. By the first of April, Dad couldn't sleep in a bed anymore and barely had enough strength left to walk. On April 8, he had another visit with his doctor who performed some heart-related tests to try to determine what was going on. The doctor told him there was “nothing wrong” with him physically and he should “go see a psychiatrist.” On April 12, 2011, at the age of fifty-five, he had a massive heart attack in the lobby of a psychiatrist's office and passed into eternity.

On some of the dark days following, it was tempting to nurse ugly thoughts about the doctor's intelligence and education level. So, do I need to forgive the doctor or repent of harboring uncharitable thoughts? Would blaming the doctor of malpractice make her guilty of the same? If the doctor performed her job to the best of her ability, what would I forgive her for? And how would blaming God for my father's death make God guilty? For what would I forgive God?

My three brothers and I were in our mid- to late twenties at the time of our father's death, each with our own young family. Our family business was still emerging from the Great Recession, which made us feel like minnows who suddenly needed to swim with whales. (Or was it more like dodging sharks?) About a year later, we were offered the unsolicited opinion that the reason we were so busy was because we were greedy. If we wouldn't think we had to land every potential job, we would raise our prices to where they should be, which would mean we wouldn't be so busy.

I think we men would all agree that an unprovoked attack on our wife, children, or finances is like a call to arms. Our first instinct is to dive into the war chest and come out with every available weapon employed to its most lethal potential. Jesus said we should leap and shout for joy when we are falsely accused, but I have found that exceedingly difficult. When what I think is a virtue is called a vice, it seems like charity is hard to hang onto.

I'm sure we would all agree that in this situation the only right response is to make the lid of the war chest a seat of prayer. Forgiveness is the only option. But I wonder, would blaming God for an uncharitable brother make God guilty of anything?

The free will God has given us allows us to choose a response to the things we face. Death, disease, and mistreatment, as well as the rest of humanity's continued rebellion against God, are all direct results of Adam's fall. It may seem unfair that innocent people suffer for the bad choices of others, but God has been clear ever since the beginning about the law of sowing and reaping. If we find ourselves angry or resentful toward God, we need to repent with haste.

God is never to be blamed or accused of causing the hardships we face. How can we ask God for strength to be faithful in difficult circumstances if we are blaming Him for allowing them?

Therefore hearken unto me ye men of understanding: far be it from God, that he should do wickedness; and from the Almighty, that he should commit iniquity..... Is it fit to say to a king, thou art wicked? And to princes, Ye are ungodly? How much less to him that accepteth not the persons of princes, nor regardeth the rich more than the poor? For they are all the work of his hands. Job 34:10, 19, 20