Now

A few weeks ago, my Grandma transitioned to the eternal state at age eighty-nine. Since her husband preceded her to the post physical four years ago, she was my last surviving grandparent. Losing her feels like the end of an era. My parents are now the old people, and that makes me…middle-aged? Young no longer applies. Doctors say the frontal cortex is developing until 25, so if adolescence continues until then, the reactive withdrawal phase probably lasts about that long, so by 50 maybe mature will be applicable. Actually, I suspect 37 contains about all possible improvement so regression has likely set in.

In 1975, Grandpa John moved to northwest Montana on the Canadian line. This was his third attempt to escape the large community and normal life of Geauga County, Ohio. First Canada, then Michigan, now Montana. Not only were there no Amish communities anywhere in the west, the whole effort was ill-planned and ill-advised.

No real plan for church. Insurmountable debt. Family starting to fall apart. Forty-six years later, most of his many descendants are scattered across Montana and Idaho in the ubiquitous, innumerable small Anabaptist churches and communities that occupy every livable spot in the northwestern US. No shortage of churches now.

Sometimes decisions have outsized consequences to those downstream. Probably all the time. Life-altering patterns are established through large and small choices we make. Considering the social, conforming creatures we Anabaptists are, imagine the difference in this family if Grandpa would have stayed in Geauga County. Looking back, it is easier to see that decisions have far-reaching implications. Looking ahead is not so easy. Yogi Berra said, “Predictions are difficult, especially about the future.”

What I am doing now will ripple through future generations. The decisions I make, and more significantly, my attitudes and mindset, are communicating values and influence to future generations. My thinking, personality, and character have been fundamentally formed by those before and around me. We cannot completely escape the lenses we wear to view the world or the intrinsic biases we carry that hinder our ability to make objective evaluations. We need to try to identify our blind spots and become more open and unbiased, but the first step (which seems to continue indefinitely) is to accept the fact that I am formed and biased by my past for better or worse. I grow from that platform. To say I am totally unbiased and objective is called immaturity and blindness.

How will I live my life to influence my children for the better and give them good platforms to build on? How can I discern these large and small choices and attitudes that are so formative and directional all their lives? How am I going to get it right?

When we worry about the future, one of two things tends to occur. Either I get paralyzed with fear or I get energized with a fervent, misguided zeal to set control boundaries and systems in place to secure and ensure the future. Neither course produces anything desirable. The results are some of the most nauseous aspects of myself and dysfunctional individuals and churches we seem to be surrounded with. The truth is that we cannot look forward and see the implications of our actions. The future is impenetrable.

Looking back also has limited value. We can certainly make some helpful observations and identify some patterns by evaluating the past, but we need to recognize our limitations. We cannot see clearly. We do not have all the info. The situations and circumstances are different now. Our confirmation bias handicap causes us to see exactly what we want to see in our pet history lessons. We ignore or minimize the rest of it, which probably obscures most of the real pivot points. We need to be careful when using history to develop current policy. When we look back too much we tend to solidify and try to keep things the same, which is hopelessly delusional. The pace of change is on an exponential curve and is only accelerating. If we do not respond we will be left behind, floundering and bewildered.

So where does that leave us? Which sphere of reality is still open to us where we can make real life decisions that will produce good results? Do you remember reading,

“We must recognize our need, forget the things that are behind, and press ahead with our eyes on the goal. If we do what we know, God will reveal to us what we need to know?” (Phil. 3: 12-16)

God’s Spirit works with us in the present. The only real contact we have with anything is now. If we focus all our energies and God-given abilities on this moment, facing the current issues and situations without getting lost in the past or worried about the future, God can reach and direct us. He can whisper over my shoulder and tell me, “Turn right. Stop. Now left.” He knows the future and the past and the present with complete infinite knowledge. He has all the info. He can see everything at once and put it all together in an entire fabric of cohesion that will take my pitiful, blind, misguided efforts and turn them into something wonderful which will exceed all my expectations and last forever.

Physicists talk about a place they call “the edge of chaos” that describes the optimal setting for control of a system. In any system with feedback loops (any living system) the need exists for a balance between order and disorder, flexibility and stability. If the network retreats too far from the edge, little change is possible and the system solidifies and dies. Collapse over the edge into chaos also results in failure and death. Natural systems orient themselves at this edge. The ones that don’t disappear. It is only in this dynamic place at the edge of chaos that growth and adaptation happens. There a vibrant yet stable complex such as a person, family, or church can continue to function and thrive.

Tap into the guidance from the One who knows and press on in the upheaval at the “edge.”